Nothing prepares a mother for the death of a child

Still she answered: “I’m still in shock. Doesn’t feel real.”

As a parent of a child with special needs, Cundiff, whose son, Andy, 27, is also autistic, said you always worry about who will continue caring for your child after you die. You never considered them dying first.

Cundiff said there’s a void in her heart. The chair where Sammi always sat is empty. There is no one to hug Sammi’s favorite Disney doll.

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Samantha ‘Sammi’ Cundiff, 21, died May 3 in her Middletown home. SUBMITTED PHOTO

Samantha 'Sammi' Cundiff, 21, died May 3 in her Middletown home.  SUBMITTED PHOTO
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Samantha ‘Sammi’ Cundiff, 21, died May 3 in her Middletown home. SUBMITTED PHOTO

As an infant, Sammi couldn’t chew and she sucked on a bottle until she was 3. She had her first seizure when she 4. Mentally, she was always 2 to 3 years old, her mother said.

“It was like raising an adult toddler,” she said.

That meant Sammi received constant care from her mother and sister, Hannah, 19, a student at the University of Kentucky. Cundiff described Hannah as “the little, big sister.”

On Mother’s Day, Cundiff wanted to close the curtains and spend the day in bed. But she also wanted to be fair to her other two children.

“Very, very difficult” she called Mother’s Day. “I cry most days.”

On those dark days, Cundiff relies on her family, her closest friends and complete strangers. She has received sympathy cards, homemade meals, emails, phone calls and a GoFundMe account was established to pay for funeral expenses.

Sammi was ineligible for life insurance because of her medical history, her mother said.

“I’m so blessed,” she said when asked about the support. “I don’t know what I would do without them. They were here as soon as I called them. Everybody has been so good.”

Even those people Cundiff can’t figure out how they knew Sammi, a 2018 Middletown High School graduate. People gravitated toward Sammi and she returned the favor. It helped if you had an ice cold Coke in your hands.

“She loved the attention,” her mother said. “Dance was her favorite thing about her. Everybody loved her. It was crazy.”

Maybe they saw Sammi for what she was: A young lady with a child’s innocence.

“Since there were so many things Sammi didn’t understand, everything was a happy place to her,” Cundiff said. “She did not know bad things. She was a wild child. You had to hold onto her.”

Until you couldn’t.

Then, if you’re like Cundiff, you follow your faith.

“God had other plans for her,” she said. She’s my angel looking down. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, but she needed it somewhere.


SAMMI CUNDIFF’S FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS

4-6 pm May 23: Visitation, Salvation Army, 1914 First Ave., Middletown

6 p.m. May 23: Celebration of Life, Salvation Army with Maj. Jud Laidlaw officiating

11 a.m. May 24: Burial at Woodhill Cemetery, Franklin Twp.

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